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I M M U N O B I O L O G I S T

BY WHITNEY PASTOREK

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AVB: So, I'm really interested in what you do. There's all this furor here in New York about the West Nile Virus, and so I think I'm really kind of entranced by the idea of immunobiology, you know, getting to the bottom of diseases and what causes them and how we can teach the human body to fight them or whatever. Of course I'm from Texas where we have bunches of mosquitoes just all the time and everyone has to sit outside with citronella candles like 11 months out of the year and it seems like people are always getting encephalitis but they survive, every time, I mean, it's just babies and old people that die from encephalitis and everybody knows it. It's natural selection, you know? Heh, of course you know, you're a scientist! And oh my god here I am rambling on like I know something about your business just because I used to subscribe to like "Ranger Rick" when I was a kid or whatever. I hate it when people think they know about my life because they've like dipped a toe in it or whatever, like, oh, you visited New York one time? Great, well then you definitely should be a part of this conversation from an expert point of view, because I'm telling you there ain't much more to NYC than that Empire State Building and oh, you partied at Life before it closed? Well wouldn't you be cool if every other tourist in the history of the universe hadn't done exactly the same thing, you know, goddamn it, shut up about my home? You know? It's like, I live here and so what business is it of yours to turn my home into some kind of amusement park for your big fat ass? That's totally what it's gotta be like for you when you see like zoo guys on Leno or whatever, out there commercializing science while Jay laughs it up with those chins a-flappin' as an aardvark or whatever takes a dump on the bandleader. Heh. I hate to admit to sometimes liking that show. Oh my god speaking of did you see that "World's Deadliest Swarms"? How cool was THAT? Oh, I'm sure you probably weren't all that surprised by any of it, after all, you have to deal with swarms of West Nile Virus mosquitoes like every day, right? But remember when that guy was totally shrouded in bees? They were all in his ears and shit? Dude, that was so cool. Has that ever happened to you?
FAMOUS IMMUNOBIOLOGIST: No.

AVB: Oh.




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An Interview with Op Sail 2000 by Julian Kyd
An Interview with the Proprietor by The Genome
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We Have Seen the Future, and It is Humble: Surely Evidence of our End Times (We Don't Really Think So, but Want to Fan the Flames of Paranoia). And We Really Like These Long Titles.
Some Superheroes by Dave Pepey



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