A N   C O N C E I T

BY SIMONS MANIGUALT


- - - -

I am capable of the most amazing stunts. Each day, a film crew, which I suspect is travelling far and wide from their base in Hong Kong to track my feats of computer enhanced wonder, follows and records my every move. I suspect they are from Hong Kong, because it is so exotic, and okay to use Asians in that which aspires to be humor since they are all so smart.

Just the other day, I did something mundane, which seems all the more so now that I inscribe it here, and they filmed it. I was forced to repeat this mundane activity over and over in order for them to amass enough footage. A three-camera shoot, pick-ups, inserts, and AAs; it was all very tiresome. Tiresome because the activity was so mundane to begin with. You can imagine I was tired by the end of that mundane activity!

Right now there are web sites being created, surreptitiously and clearly illegal, featuring poor quality streaming video of dailies of my most recent stunts. I look much thinner in these, which pleases me. My staff of attorneys and accountants are concerned with lost revenue, but I remind them that such exposure is only an indication of the strength of my brand.

Someday I hope to bring my stunts to the masses. I worry that my youthful idealism will wither into hardened cynicism. My stunts will continue to be breathtaking, but the luster that comes from hope and faith in humainty will tarnish somewhat. This may put me in uncertain danger, given my vertigo-inducing desire for risk, but that will only add to my time-worn sex appeal. I will become rough at the edges, even I as go soft in the middle.





OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES
- - - -

Ben, We Hardly Knew Ye: A Fromage by Dan Vaden
The Last Ten Minutes of Lunch: Sponsored by CDNOW by Patience Lee
Not Separated at Birth by Sarah Mason and John Pull
A Letter from the Editor by Harry J. Tipple
Found on the MTA by Roo Jobes



ARCHIVES


 

Black dot denotes newish content

WRITE TO McSWEENEY'S
SUBMISSION GUIDELINES
LISTS
ABOUT McSWEENEY'S
McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES
THE McSWEENEY'S ALLEGORY CONTEST
ASK THE McSWEENEY'S CATCHPOLE
LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S
IF YOU ARE REVIEWING OR WRITING ABOUT McSWEENEY'S
THE McSWEENEY'S CLARIFICATION