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BY SARAH MASON AND JOHN PULL

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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:36:22 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: What does Björk like in her pan-fried dumplings?

A: Pjörk


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:37:43 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: What does Björk use to eat her pan-fried dumplings?

A: A förk


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:38:03 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: Perhaps a little too esoteric

Q: Which of the early 20c Spanish playwrights does Björk most enjoy?

A: García Ljörca.


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:39:07 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: Re: Perhaps a little too esoteric

Perhaps.


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:40:01 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: What does Björk call you behind your back?

A: A djörk


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:40:01 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: What do you most closely resemble?

A: A big djörk


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:41:30 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: Re: What do you most closely resemble?

Ha ha -- we sent each other virtually the same thing at exactly the same time.


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:42:19 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: Re: What do you most closely resemble?

I was first I was first with that joke


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:43:58 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: Re: What do you most closely resemble?

Any advantage you may have had is negated because your previously-sent email violated the Björk95 Manifesto because you spelled it "förk" instead of "fjörk". Also, you contemplated running spellcheck -- another violation, and a heinous one at that.


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:44:53 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: Re: What do you most closely resemble?

hee hee

I meant "fjörk" though and that's what counts dammit.


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:45:33 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: Re: What do you most closely resemble?

Perhaps you've pledged allegiance to the breakaway faction known as "Psychic Friends of Björk95" but I, my dear, certainly have not.


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[Sama did not respond to this email]


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Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:47:07 -0500
From: <jpul>
To: <sama>
Subj: Oops

Sorry, I meant to type "Björkme95".


***

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 11:48:53 -0500
From: <sama>
To: <jpul>
Subj: Re: Oops

I think maybe you meant to type "Pjörkme95". .





OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES
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Via Dolorosa: System, AD&D; Category, Historical by Mario Moscalini
Possible Activitiesby Snow Fisher
It Struck Me on the Down Escalator at the Mall. by Tess Robinson
Rejected Titles for this Piece by W. Ng


 


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