P O S S I B L E
A C T I V I T I E S

BY SNOW FISHER

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The Ambrosial Undertaker

1. Imagine your ulcer is a rodent, an animal of some sort.
2. Do push-ups.
3. Ask the bartender to rate your face on a scale of 1 to 10.


The Effete Lineman

1. Covet.
2. Imagine what it feels like to be torn into a hundred pieces.
3. Resent your friends for getting in the way of your record label, and its several operations.


The Frustrated Miner

1. Make a life-drawing of Ted Koppel.
2. Consider reconstructive surgery.
3. Sew feathers and beads onto your bell bottoms, as this is a very popular look right now.


The Arthritic Cheerleader

1. Allow your pet rabbit full run of the bedroom
2. Turn your underwear inside-out.
3. Ask your guru which is a better place for children: Box Elder or Traverse City.



OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES
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It Struck Me on the Down Escalator at the Mall. by Tess Robinson
Rejected Titles for this Piece by W. Ng
Mad Libs: A Primer by Dan Vaden
Recent Dreams by Trauss Santorro



 



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